2001-09-26 - 10:50 a.m.

Diary of a Madman:Lu Xun

Did that guy prophesise my entries on diaryland?Every fucking day is a routine:Wake up at an uneartly hour,get dressed....smell frozen wintershit and get to skool,listen to Ruskie lecturer,register zero info,get home,do tutorials and get to sleep at unearthly hours.

Blah,blah,woof,woof meow and meow...life is becoming meaningless.

I don't have the courage to take my life.I hate my existence,I'm such a loser...I still hang onto hope.

Hope,a dirty four-letter word that make keeps me going.

I'm not psycho,but some people who read this might perceive me as so...life is beautiful as they say,in the view of Roberto Benigni's film.Life is not a celluloid potrayl I say to them.

Day in day out,just counting my days,when will the cycle end?What am I waiting for?

Shixian said:'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'It's painful,but yes I will trod the path again...grasping 'hope' so dearly to my heart.

Tommy's celebrating his birthday,best wishes to you and you can count on me being there...well the vodka I'm bringing too!Dad thinks I drink too much for a student...I know my dad loves me.I've quitted smoking for him! Now it's my liver's turn to be pampered...wonder how much my kidney will fetch on the organ market though.

Ellen,thanks for showing so much care for an insignificant dweeb...I'm not gonna die so soon,dunt worry.A psychology major sees more than others huh?I shouldnt open up so much to you.

I wann go pink and rosy,CO poisoning preferably,or alcohol poisoning...I want to die like James Dean,the rebel without a cause.

Screw the world.

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