2002-03-23 - 6:51 p.m.

I remember army not so fondly for certain quotes par excellence, which in it's total lack of intellect percolate a certain laugh factor. Take my favourite Sergeant, 3SG Barber.

In the cold misty jungles of Kancharnaburi

Barber: Tee, u noe how to end this exercise fast?

Tee: No! Sergeant!

Barber: Poondeh, lemme show u! (loads his M16 with a blank and held the muzzle against his chin)

Tee: Duh...

And who can forget the classic Catch 22 conversation between Reddy and 2SG Chong?

Chong: Wah, lau, I give up on u guys, what if there's really a war, are u people going to give me this kind of standard?

Reddy: But the regulars are equally fuck up mah.

Chong: So you want to be like them? If everyone thinks like you, this army will not be running.

Reddy: But if everyone thinks like me and I don't think in a similar thread wouldn't that make me strange? Anyway, the army aint exactly running in the first place.

Chong: I give up on you guys...

Let's move on to another species who for all their supposed championing of equal rights still can't grasp the offside rule.

Spurs: Hi, dunt u miss the taste of vodka? (while para-para-ing a mambo hand movement with a cigarette in hand)

Female: Hehehehe...

Spurs: That was funny meh? (I'm aware of the overwhelming charm and wit I exude... but most humans painfully aren't).

Female: Hehehehe...

Spurs: Tequila?

Female: Hehehehe...

Spurs: ^765$%#&^%(^ (Talking in Maths)

Female: Hehehehe...

Spurs thinking to himself: I'd rather talk to a rock.

Looking at the success of the straight to VCD Box Office smash: Chu Mei-Feng, the trilogy.

Spurs: Hi, guys, I've got the script for my indie film ready. The title will be 'Cheena nerd kena gang-banged by Engineering Bangladeshi scholars'. There's a latent theme of racial harmony as symbolised by the exchanging of body fluids between the different racial groups. Aren't u excited?

Nerd: Do I have to eat dinner before the outdoor scene at the SRC swimming pool?

Spurs: Nopes, but your co-stars will be providing you with a nutritious low-fat liquid diet of erm... amino acids. Yah, the script goes like this: 'Argghh... arrhh... yeah baby... arrrgggghhhh....' Remember, 2 short groans with a long moan, for the true thespian that you are.

Nerd: Okies!

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PS: For the dear fans of my diary, I'll be taking a month break, will be back soon! Stay tuned duckies!

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